Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
