haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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