Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
