wat bout pragnant strippers??
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
