You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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