WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize