So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
