he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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