The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
