An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
