i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
