Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
