If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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