I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize