i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
