I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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