...so i touched it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
