She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize