i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
