I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
