He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
