Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
