She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
