Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.