OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.