Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad