Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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(631): View more from New York

Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

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(315): View more from New York

I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.

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(641): View more from Iowa

If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)

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