Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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