Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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