I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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