found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
