You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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