i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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