to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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