I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize