I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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