im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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