and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
