So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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