just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
