I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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