what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
