is your mom at the bar?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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