Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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