I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
