I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
