just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
