I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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