You're my little dorito
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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