you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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