Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
