Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
