wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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