awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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