I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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