I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
