Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
