i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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