Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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