We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize